It’s April Fool’s Day and, if you’ve been a long-time reader, you know that means one thing:
The one time a year I publish ample documentation that I am neither:
a) a professional model
b) capable of playing it cool on camera
Because — let’s be honest — if I played it cool on camera like a pro model, I wouldn’t HAVE bloopers this good to share…
And the real truth is this: We all need to take ourselves a little less seriously. Be a little more playful with life. A little less calculated. And — most importantly — we all need to not give a f*** what anyone else thinks. This is your life. Live it with pride!
Make as many bloopers as you can… you only get one life to live after all!
So without further ado, let the self-abasement begin:
Bloopers 2019… My Truth As Revealed By The Camera
This shot has me stumped… am I talking, cringing, disgusted, or just… sleep deprived?
This photo speaks for itself. I am a bird, not a human. Watch me fly, bitches!
That moment when the dress and location look great but your face… doesn’t.
Adjustments to clothing are always more effective when you squint and frown at them. Bonus points if you can give yourself a double chin.
And NEVER forget to swish your skirt enough to see ALL your business… Bonus points if you can do it while looking constipated.
When in doubt, frowning directly at the camera so hard you give yourself wrinkles is a good starting expression.
But nothing beats the priceless shot you get when you feel like you look like Marilyn Monroe and instead you’re a picture-perfect example of walking camel toe.
Lipstick is best applied with eyes closed, mouth open, and dignity non-existent.
When you wake up early for a shoot and should have stopped for coffee first…
Or when you go full-on rogue and tell your photographer what you REALLY think (love you sis!).
Baring your teeth and grinding them down is always attractive on camera.
As is… THIS expression.
Which I’m really struggling to back out the narrative of. What on EARTH were we talking about? And why? And — for that matter — HOW?
(Can we all appreciate how cool and posed Apollo looks for the camera though?! I trained him well. Better than I’ve trained myself apparently…)
The most photogenic way to walk is to stick your toes right up to the sky as you step…
Or to “relax your face” by grinding your teeth (again!) and giving yourself a double chin…
But nothing beats the unphotogenic “hair in wind” shot. Especially when it slices right into your eye and you start crying off your eye make-up moments later.
We all need a good laugh these days! And hopefully today’s post reminded you that we don’t always need to be polished and perfect… sometimes the fun in life is when we’re doing the exact opposite!